


Direct Orders

by bosmermage



Series: Saria's Tale [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bosmermage/pseuds/bosmermage
Summary: There are some things that tears can never wash away.





	Direct Orders

They swayed on their feet, the door casting its same crimson glow, cold and hollow where it was usually a welcome reprieve from the world. 

“Sanguine, my brother” reedy and thin, they couldn’t contain the bitterness in their voice. The entrance hall seemed to stretch out like toffee, neverending. 

“Saria? Are you alright?” Ocheeva was looking up from her book, and Saria stared back. 

“I’m really tired, I think everything’s finally catching up with me” their face was stiff and their mouth felt full of cotton. They took a deep breath, forced a very alien feeling smile “I should go to bed” Their laugh sounded strained and high, and like someone else’s voice. 

Ocheeva closed the book and set it down, ever the worried mother, “let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a long week hm,” They brushed away Saria’s protesting hands, leading them to their bed by the forearms. Saria bit back the bile in their throat as Ocheeva tucked them in. For what seemed like hours, they lay there, staring at the wall unblinking, desperately fighting the tears welling. By the time they came back to their senses the sanctuary was silent as the grave. The middle of the night, everyone would be out or asleep. They got up, forcing themselves through the motions of getting dressed into their day clothes, a simple plain blue dress. They slung their worn travel pack over their back before looking at Annie who was still asleep in the top bunk, they paused, staring up at her for a beat before silently leaving the room. They rubbed away the cold creeping over the back of their neck. 

“Hey,” M’raaj dar hissed in protest, “watch where you’re going” Saria bounced off him into the wall beside, blindsided as the taller man walked into the dorm. 

Saria blushed in response, “Sorry, i’m,” They trailed off, rubbing their dry eyes, as if to remove sleep. 

“It’s okay… Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you,” He clapped a hand on their shoulder “you did really good by us and all.” 

Saria smiled, their face numb “It’s alright, I don’t blame you, especially when I’m here shambling around like a zombie” They both laughed at that, and M’raaj dar continued on his way to the training room, Saria staring after him for another moment. They took a deep breath, and continued to the kitchen, which was blissfully empty. They took a moment to steel themselves and listen quietly to the sanctuary. No noise but, they shook their head, rubbing a detect life spell into their eyes. They saw three glows light up through the walls, plus Vicente would be four. They sighed, fixing themselves a coffee before walking into the common. 

“Long day?” Tenaaiva asked from across the commons, leaning against the stone arch nonchalant. 

“No but it’s gonna be a long night” Saria laughed, curling into the couch, knees to their chest 

“Ohhh, got a big shot contract did ya?” Tenaaiva ribbed, plopping on the couch beside them “You’re not gonna forget about us now that Speaker Lucien’s giving you contracts are ya?” 

Saria’s eyebrows shot up and they gave a good snort “Forget about you? How could I, that ugly mug of yours is gonna be burned into my brain forever” They stuck their tounge out for good measure, dissolving the two of them into a fit of giggles. “Got anything coming up??” Saria asked over their mug, between downing the coffee like it was going out of style 

“Me? Nah, not yet, Taelindril took the last contract. She gets to go all the way out to Leyawiin to do this big hit on some drug lord and I get to stay back and hold down the fort.” Tenaaiva frowned, crossing his arms, petulantly. 

“Oh come on, let's go out for a walk, Grandpa and M’raaj dar can do the holding down the fort. Besides, I don’t technically have to leave until tomorrow” They quirked an eyebrow, and forced a smirk through the growing pit in their stomach 

“I’m not gonna get you in trouble am I?” Tenaaiva furrowed his brow, ever the model brother. The thought sent a shot of pain through Saria’s stomach. 

Saria leaned in conspiratorially, “you know how fast I can be, besides, it’ll be good for the both of us!” They surprised themselves with how easily the smirk extended across their face. How easily it felt like nothing in the world was wrong. 

Tenaaiva put his hands up “okay okay I trust you! I’ll go get dressed” Saria watched him as he slid out of the room, finishing the last of their coffee. They paused for a moment, calming their swelling heartbeat with their breath. They were so entranced looking down into the empty mug that they didn’t notice Vicente enter the commons, until he cleared his throat. 

“Oh!” Saria started head spinning to meet his gaze. Playing it off with a laugh they said “Man I’m really off my game today!” Vicente quirked an eyebrow, studying their face, as their laughter trailed off, made awkward by his silence. 

“You seem down brother, whatever has happened to your high spirits?” Vicente had a knowing air, as always. Panic seared through Saria’s veins followed closely by a painful disappointment in themselves, and then an aching frustration at Vicente’s seeming omnipotent sense for these things. 

Saria stopped, dropping their fake laugh “The truth?” Their breath caught in their throat, they couldn’t tell him the truth. “The truth is I don’t know if I’m ready for this” Their voice was a whisper “I feel like I set a standard for myself I can’t live up to, it’s all happening so fast” They were on the verge of tears, and Vicente walked over to them and put a compassionate hand on their shoulder, giving a small smile. 

“You were chosen for a reason, even if you can’t yet see that reason” 

Saria nodded, taking a breath to steady themselves. “You’re right. You’re always right,” they rolled their eyes at him, forcing a smile. Vicente took their mug on his way to the kitchen 

“Try to have some fun today, relax,” He murmured, voice muffled by the walls. Saria took a final breath before walking off to meet Tenaaiva, forcing their walk natural through the fuzzy numbness of panic. 

They caught Tenaaiva as he was leaving the dorm, “I know just the place to go,” They smirked when he jumped, then coughed straightening out his shirt like he hadn’t just startled. 

“Lead on then!” he whispered, pointing out to the heavy stone door. They shook their head and lead him out the well entrance, making extra sure to lock the way behind them. They pulled him along, their pace increasing after they both left the city steadily until the pair was sprinting through the darkened forest. The spot was nearly a mile out from Cheydinhal, a small lake glowing a pale blue from bioluminescence. “Aw man you dragged me on that sprint to look at a pond?” he wheezed, plopping down on the ground in fake protest.   
“Yes, I did, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then we’re gonna go for a swim, you’ll thank me later,” They cajoled, slipping out into the thick of the woods. They slipped their hand into their pocket, muttering the spell low and quiet under their breath. In an instant, they were back in the dorm. 

Annie stirred “Saria?” she whispered, groggily looking over her shoulder. 

Saria felt their heart catch in their throat, they took a breath and stepped onto their bunk pulling up their pack and standing to be eye level with her “hey,” they whispered, ghostly quiet “I finished that medicine I was working on, didn’t mean to wake you up” they pulled a bottle out of the pack. “Since you’re up anyways wanna give it a go?” 

Annie gasped, a big grin stretching ear to ear “Sariaaaaa you’re amazing!” she whispered, taking the bottle without wiping the sleep out of her eyes. She downed it one, frowning at the taste. Saria backed away, slowly, as Annie lay back down, grabbed their pack and snaked out of the room. The hunt was on, and they had minutes left. As expected, Vicente was reclining in the common room reading a book 

“Back so soon?” He looked up from his book, as Saria draped themselves dramatically over the back of his chair. 

“I’m sorry,” they murmured as they pulled the chair off balance, electricity leaving their hug, through him, arching into the ground below. They set the chair back down as quickly as possible, not looking back as they used the power of a welkynd stone to teleport back into the forest. They stood there stunned for a moment, the crickets in the summer air deafening. Tenaaiva found them before they managed to pull themselves out of their spot. 

“What are ya doing out here? Giving birth?” He hissed, eyes covered for modesty’s sake 

Saria forced a laugh, “I get it I get it I’m slow! I wore my stupid combinations, I’m sooorrryy,” They grabbed his arm, dragging him off in a run to the pool, they stripped down to their shift behind a rock, using the last of the energy restored by the welkynd stone they cast a water breathing charm and flung themselves into the pond. They sank to the bottom, curling up in the glowey weeds, letting the pond water mask their tears. They would have been gasping for breath above the water. Their thinking, and pain, was interrupted by Tenaaiva jumping into the pond above them. They took a moment to re-center themselves. They sorely wished they weren’t too sleepy to cast a calm emotions spell. Tenaaiva didn't seem to notice though, choosing instead to snake his way into the tallest section of weeds, tail swishing like a prowling cat. It would be funny to them at any other point in time. But for now they just righted themselves and swam over, feet touching down on the silt below. The pond above slowly smoothed out until the sky became visible again. They let themselves stare up, until Tenaaiva decided that it was far too boring for his liking, yanking them down by their ankle, and then swimming off before Saria could react. This led to a game in which Saria put in a futile attempt to catch up with the natural born swimmer until eventually they felt their water breathing start to wear off and resurfaced. They lay on the shore, staring up into the inky sky until Tenaaiva resurfaced. 

“Pfft must suck not to have natural water breathing” he jeered, floating out in the middle of the pond. When he didn’t get a response he paused, sliding over to where Saria was lying face down, sobbing.   
“Hey, it’s okay,” he murmured, draping a hand on their back “do you wanna talk about it?”   
They pulled themselves to their knees, trying in vain to stop the tears from falling. “It’s just, I’m scared,” they hiccupped “I don’t know if I’m ready for this, everything is happening so fast im not ready” Tenaaiva pulled them into a hug, smoothing out their hair “Vicente said I was chosen for a reason” They choked up, hands pulling into their chest 

“He’s right you know,” Tenaaiva murmured, but he let them cry it out. Slowly, they pulled themselves back together. “Let's go home, you’ll feel better after a hot meal and some company anyways,” They nodded, fighting the growing lump in their throat. They pulled themselves out of the water and behind the rock. They took deep breaths, squeezing the water from their hair, and relieving themselves of their soaked shift. They redressed themselves, and left from behind the rock. Tenaaiva was already dried off and back in his clothes. “Cmon slowpoke!” he jabbed. They hurried along, and threw themselves into a hug. Tenaaiva patted their damp hair and pulled them along by their off hand. Grimacing, they let him lead the way. They were a few feet out from the pond when Tenaaiva dropped their hand, Saria took the opening, pulling their dagger from the side of their pack and driving it home. 

“Brother, why,” Tenaaiva gasped, pushed to his knees from the shock, clutching at his heart in a vain attempt to save himself.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” they chanted the words over and over, like a spell. They collapsed on top of him, still begging forgiveness. They knelt there weeping over him for a long time, unable to do anything but weep. 

The morning found them curled under the rock, staring glassy eyed into the dirt. It took them a further hour to pull Tenaaiva into the still water and remove the bloodstained day dress and change into the clothes from their pack. Unable to look back, they buried the dirtied clothes and started for Leyawiin. A couple of hours walking later, they found a likely looking divet in the earth and set up camp, hiding themselves against a rock, under their cloak to block out the sun. Their sleep was pitiful and interrupted, and when night fell they changed into their armour and teleported the distance to Leyawiin. Hunting down her camp took the better part of the night, and Telaendril was shocked, to say the least. A curious deer startled, and Saria had to physically hold back a sob. They didn’t have the time to do anything futher than pull a blanket over her. They bolted away, narrowly avoiding the trees around them. Deep enough into the forest they keeled over, the anxiety and repulsion ending in them heaving bile. They sat there and sobbed until the tears stopped and they could think again. Their whole torso screamed in pain, aching under the weight of their breaking heart. 

“I have to keep going, I have to do this. I was chosen for a reason, right? Right?” They bargained with the night sky, tears leaving streaks of salt on their cheeks. They sat there a few moments more, using a tree beside them to steady their stance. They scrubbed their face free of tears with their cloak. They took a deep breath, a step forward and teleported themselves into the abandoned basement. This was it.   
It’s just acting, you’re going on stage and you’ve got to give the performance of your life. 

“Sanguine, my brother” Their voice faltered, but they held themselves true as they walked through the door. The commons was empty, it had been scrubbed clean. Saria’s heart spiked as a quiet sob echoed through the sanctuary. It was coming from the dorm. They took a breath and broke into a dead sprint.  
They slammed the door open, letting the nervous energy rule their movements “what’s wrong? Where is everybody?” 

“Oh Saria, you’re safe, thank Sithis.” Ocheeva looked up, she was holding Grogon to her chest, comforting him “Do you have any news from Telaendril or Tenaaiva? We have been betrayed,” 

Saria stood stunned, “betrayed…” They shook their head “I was in Bruma, I…” They froze,

Ocheeva covered her face with a hand, in pain, “I hope they’re all right, I hope we were quick enough” 

“Quick enough,” Saria’s nerves made their voice break “What happened? Why wouldn’t they be okay? What’s going on??” 

Ocheeva shook her head sadly, leaving Grogon on the bed, she pulled Saria out into the commons, “It was horrible, M’raaj Dar, he killed Vicente and Annie, and now I fear for the safety of the others” Her voice was measured, but in pain. It poorly masked the footsteps from behind.   
Saria reached a sympathetic hand out, a sleep spell incapacitating the shadowscale. The frost spell from behind nearly missed 

“You always shot too far left” Saria spat, barely avoiding a second blast by going invisible. They lunged, and caught him in the neck with their dagger. They ducked behind the chair, waiting. Sure enough, Grogon rushed out, hammer in hand. He paused, stopping to try and save M’raaj dar. He managed to choke out the word “chair”, and Saria backed up accordingly, narrowly avoiding the corresponding hammer swing. They waited for his upswing to bolt for the dorm, managing to slide under a bed before he could catch up. 

“Come out little rat, come face your death with some honour,” he bellowed, Saria waited patiently for him to pace past them. They slipped out, silent as a whisper, and just managed to make it out the door, nearly jumping when they heard him destroy a bed. They ran back to where the dazed Ocheeva was just pulling herself from the floor. Saria panicked and attacked, just barely hitting the mark. They lowered her to the ground quietly before sprinting off to the training room, reinforcing their invisivbility, just in time. Gogron slammed the door open frothing at the mouth. They reached back for the quiver leant against the weapons rack, they just needed an arrow. With a deep breath, they unhooked shadowhunt from their pack. That was enough noise, and Saria barely escaped the swing with a fistfull of arrows, they darted back, and aimed their shot, arrows clattering from their grasp. The shot struck true, and Gogron collapsed, and so did they. They broke down into screaming sobs. 

“No NO NO PLEASE NO” They sobbed into the air, unable to move from the spot, the sight of their terrible deed driving them further into tears. It felt like ages they sat there and cried. They cried until their tears ran dry and they collapsed on the floor, exhausted. 

They woke up in agony, a migraine from the crying, and silently left the sanctuary in a daze. They had to report back. Surely, there would be a reason for all of this.


End file.
